Tactical Decision Game: Gulf of Danzig Scenario

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One of the training tools military leaders will sometimes use is a Tactical Decision Game. It’s a good way to train, since it costs no money and really you only need a white board or something, if that. The leader of the exercise will describe a tactical situation, describe the mission and the assets available, and everyone either individually or in groups figures out their solution and briefs it to everyone else. It’s such a useful tool, even lower ranking individuals like Privates and such will sometimes be trained on it in order to sharpen their minds.

The following is what I call the Gulf of Danzig Scenario. It is based on a realistic, real-world low intensity conflict with a ‘near peer’ adversary. Get a notepad, and let’s get this thing started!

Scenario:

Glenn Danzig comes to your house. He says he’s gonna take your daughter out tonight and show her ‘his world’, whatever that is. He says if you want to bang heads with him he will find hell with you (but only if you want to), and warns you that he’s not about to see your light. Also he keeps addressing your wife as ‘mother’, which is kind of weird.

Mission:

-Resolve Gulf of Danzig situation using appropriate force in accordance with the Laws Of Armed Conflict (LOAC), with a minimum amount of casualties among friendly forces and non-aligned personnel.

-Get Danzig to leave the house in order to allow freedom of movement for friendly forces in the Area of Operations (AO), as well as allowing for follow-on missions.

Tip: it is possible to resolve this scenario peacefully with a proportional but credible show of force.

Your Assets:

-6 US Air Force Security Forces Personnel

Four females and two males. One of the females is pregnant. Both of the males failed their last PT test. They are equipped with M4 Carbines. They didn’t think they’d get the chance to ever shoot at anyone in their whole career, so they are a bit hyped.

-1 Army Medium Machine Gun Team With Substance Abuse Problems (6 personnel). They’ve all been reduced in rank multiple times for drug infractions, but their squad leader says they really “know their shit”. He’s lying. If you ask for them to set up grazing fire, they don’t know what that means so they’ll just shoot randomly hoping to do whatever it is you wanted by accident. One of them isn’t allowed to carry a weapon because of a domestic violence conviction under the Lautenburg Amendment, so he’s carrying a broom. The rest have 2 M240 machine guns and M4 Carbines.

-2 Army Heavy Vehicle Operators (Note: you have no vehicles)

One of them stayed up all night drinking Rip-It energy drinks and playing Halo, so he’s really tired. The other one stayed up all night drinking Red Bull and watching porn. They have M9 pistols which they don’t know how to shoot.

-4 Iraqi Soldiers

They will clear the house but they want porn and cigarettes in exchange. You probably have enough to pay them with. They are armed with M16A2 rifles, and smell strongly of kebabs. They all have very fine mustaches.

-1 Barely Literate Staff Sergeant From The Operations Section With A Cup Of Coffee In His Hand’ It’s wonderful that the military provides upward mobility for disadvantaged people, especially borderline retards like him. He talks a lot, gives a lot of advice based on half-remembered Power Point classes that he sat through years ago. He always pronounces lackadaisical as ‘laxadaisical’, also uses some completely made up words. He will follow up your briefing to the men with a long winded story about something irrelevant, and if you’re really unlucky he’ll give instructions that contradict everything you just briefed. The 4 Iraqi soldiers keep giving you that “what the fuck?” gesture every time he talks, the interpreter can’t figure it out either.

He’s armed with a sturdy mug of coffee and a M9 pistol with no ammunition. Get started, commanders! Give your solutions in the comments below.

Opinion:

  • Step 1: take the coffee from the staff sgt and offer it to Glenn. Convince him to drink it, saying that it is “a thing in Europe” to drink coffee at night.
  • Step 2: Wait for Glenn to enter your bathroom. Once he’s there, get the machine gun team to place both machine guns outside of the bathroom door and instruct them to setup grazing fire.
  • Step 3 A: Get iraqi soldiers to the front lawn, asking them to be as loud as possible and deny ability to speak English (if they have it). They will be a welcoming party for the police.
    Step 3 B: Get the heavy vehicle operators to help you load the body into the trunk of your car ( I do still have a car, right?).
  • Step 3 C: Get the airforce personell to clean up the bathroom and dismantle the door with the bullet holes in it. Machine gunner with the broom can help too. If the police asks about your “open-air” bathroom, tell them that’s how the toilets were in the ancient Rome.
  • Step 4: Drive with the heavy vehicle operators to the closest national park, and bury the body. Buy some rip-its and redbulls on the gas station on the way.